i am 21 today and my boyfriend took me to breakfast and bought me the prettiest little pink bong and i love him so much. also i can buy alcohol and that is strange.

feeling nice and high and watching sharknado with the most handsome love of my life. i may not have had the best 4th, but i’m having a lovely 5th. props to this guy right herr.


I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great

(via songsaboutjadey)

Posted 4 weeks ago (originally rexuality) + 207,817 notes


ladies, if a guy doesn’t eat pussy but still expects to get his dick sucked… laugh right in his face. leave the room in the midst of your laughter. go home while laughing. keep laughing for the rest of your life. never stop laughing.

(Source: donniedarkos, via goodfuckingsex)